Continuing in the end of year wrap theme that I've had going on lately I had another post worthy happening.
This one is pretty personal. I had a major revelation of it about two months ago and had a reminder on Friday. The specific topic is how fortunate I was to grow up in the family that I did. To have the parents that I have, brothers that I've had and now sisters that I do too. Grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins too.
It shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to me considering how the fundraising process has gone for me. But just with maturing I have seen much more clearly how fortunate I am for everything.
My view got really shaken up on the first Saturday February. My outreach team took a special trip to Life Center. It ended up being a get to know you thing that the church wanted to do with us.
During the time there we played a game of sorts. One of the pastors had us line up in rows and next to each other. She proceeded to ask questions to us. Depending on the answers we either took a step forward or backward. At the end of the illustration I was standing next to one other girl way ahead of all the other people there. As I looked backward there were clear dividing line in age and race with most of the young, white kids in front while many of the older African - American's were in the back.
It really hit me. Like I knew that I had a privileged life growing up. My parents went to a lot of lengths to see me succeed and come out ahead. In younger years it was the significant assistance to get through boy scouts, to home school me for most of my middle school years, the trip to Costa Rica. As I got older, it would be going to Hillcrest, AFLBS, now BCOM. Having the care for me to still pay most of my bills while I'm just trying to get through school.
In a way that it hadn't before, it hit me how much I had been given through the years of my life.
Now I'm fundraising and have seen like never before the support of all my relatives. I wouldn't have said they don't support me, some more tangibly then others, but to see it through this process has shaken me many times.
Then we had a special chapel this past Friday about "The Father Heart of God." During the message a question was asked, what is the best memory of your father and what is your worst? I had a few good memories that came to mind as soon as I thought of it, but I really couldn't think of a worst.
In the modern world that I grew up in that is extremely rare, sadly. Many people my age grew up in terrible family experiences. I could go into the various types that are common, but they are common to the point of not needing to.
Even thought I had a good father and many other quality male examples growing up none compare to God. I can learn from men and fathers about how to be a man and when the time comes how to be a father. Ultimately though, I need to learn how to live in most aspects of my life through God as my Father.
How do I wrap this up?
Well for myself and for others the process of identifying father figures and learning about God as the Father has been a journey. The world puts a priority on destroying the role of the father in people's lives, just look at most of the tv shows on air today. To battle against that the chains that hold us down need to broken off. For some people, everyone outside of a relationship with God, there still has to be the identification of where they are bound.
Well, a character of God that I've learned....over my lifetime I guess is that He is the freedom bringer, the bondage breaker is a term that I've been told in one class. In this case He was doing the work of breaking chains of misunderstanding regarded to the Father's heart. Real learning will come through experience. For God to start it in us already, so many who aren't close to parenthood or able to learn it in demonstration, is a privilege and demonstration of His love for us.
God is good. The work He does is good and the timing is always right. Sorry if this one seems kind of choppy, I had more trouble conveying then I thought I would.
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