Monday, April 18, 2011

A True Relationship

So I have sort of been thinking about this post for a few weeks, since my birthday week to be exact. The basic thought that I had was that I should look at the recently changed idea of friendship with the onslaught of social network sites. But I think it is going to take a different shape after some things that have been highlighted to me very recently. The basis of this though is friendship, and to go a little beyond that, what is a true friend.
Not to sound too cliche, but as I have begun to see and understand, a true friend is a gift from God. For some they are very abundant and easy to come by, for others they are rare, tough to come by but often highly valued. I would fall into the latter category and am only now beginning to understand how to value the friends that I have. It is difficult for me to know exactly how to treat many of the friends that I somehow acquire, I give God credit for each one, because I can be quite a mule sometimes.
The tough thing is that I have tried to balance my temper with the controlling nature that I have. It wasn't until tonight that I figured out that those elements of my life are very much connected. By trying to control so much of the things that go on around me and often going far beyond anyone else, yet holding those same people to the same standard that I hold myself to and often being shown "failures" allowed frustration and anger to build in me for many years. It really is like a cancer in my bones, because untreated the failed expectations will continue to just grow until I am buried under an ocean of frustration and stress.
Then something relatively insignificant will trigger the burst of pent up issues.
Well for me, and for all people who deal with this, the only solution is to find the freedom that comes through Christ. To walk in authority and position that Christ freely gives and to continually surrender to His Lordship. From experience this anger and control will only push people away, I have been blessed enough to have people forgive me for my ridiculous behaviors but it may not always be that way. I will do what I can, go after God,  to see myself free from this and on the path toward true identity in Christ that He seeks to keep building in me.
I guess the only way to keep the friends that I have is through the continued work of Christ in my life and allowing that to be the everything to keep them going. A true friend may break off the friendship, but won't stop praying and won't hold the grudges that are justifiable against another. I hope that we, as a body of believers, can get past Facebook friends and onto real relationships.