Thursday, July 30, 2015

Control...or the utter lack thereof

No fancy or clever intro on this one. Just the jump.

So it's no secret to say that I have issues. Everybody does. Whether a result of the broken nature, the choices of others or one's own choices, we all have things in life that are tough. Things that can be a problem or an opportunity maybe even a blessing, depending how we handle the variable tough factors.
I have issues. Have for as long as I can remember. As I've grown I have been able to see the benefit of some of the things that have made me unique. What I have also come to understand is that control is a near impossibility at best and an illusion at worst.
There are natural disasters and senseless atrocities committed by people against other people. As much as people want peace and love and to try to manage natural disasters it's not gonna happen. Control over those things just isn't going to happen.
But for this I'm thinking on a much more personal level. I don't even know if control of the mind is possible. As I've said and will repeat here, I have issues and for some of them that persist and have little to no positive angles yet exist I find that my mind wants to make excuses. I don't want to make excuses. At least that's how it feels. Now, I know that feelings are not a trustworthy metric of...really anything but I getting the feeling, when my mind comes up with excuses for these undesirable issue, that I don't want to use the excuses being produced. They are in my head regardless. The Bible talks about taking thoughts captive, in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to be specific and maybe that's where my issue lies.
I claim the Bible. It is Truth. It says that it is possible to take thoughts captive so it is possible to do so. I'm young and need a lot more practice to make that happen but I still find myself wondering if it actually possible to control every thought. For me, right now, I'm not able to. I don't have control of my thoughts, some times I think that's ok aka daydreams but actually I don't know if it is. The Bible says what is says and if I'm to avoid becoming another "christian" who just picks and chooses which verses to accept and which to reject I need to submit myself to the truth of it. Understanding that it is out of my control. That I have to be surrendered to Truth. To Jesus. That my control is not what counts. I have to learn how to control myself while being submitted to the control of the Savior.
Oi, it has my head spinning and I don't know how to do it. Thank God for His Mercy on me and Him taking the time to teach me, letting me have the time to grasp it! Hallelujah!

I hope that makes sense and helps in some small way to define this concept of control. That we simultaneously need to learn how to control ourselves and yet be under the control of Jesus.

Thanks for stopping by!