Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Rearview year end

This has been the most odd December I can remember. I've spent an odd quantity of time thinking about things that happened this year, both globally & in my bubble. I guess it's just the latest example of how my life has been this year, full of analysis & reflection.
12 months ago I went to Florida
11 months ago my second niece was born
6 months ago I got irritatingly close to dying in a car wreck
5 months ago I moved to Minneapolis
4 months ago I went to Turkey
2 weeks ago I moved back to North Dakota
I guess those are the highlights of the year for me. The gaps probably had things that I can't remember but mostly just full of work & leisure. Through every day there was the fact that poor choices resulted in me being here this year. There has been regret, a lot of regret but it's possible, almost a certainty, that if things had worked out with me going over seas there would have been things that would have gone a rye.
Quite a few months ago I was given a book to read. The main thing that I took away from it was that regardless of how bad things get for us, God isn't to blame. I won't pretend like one sentence can sum up an entire book but if you want the whole of it, the book's called "disappointment with God" I wrote a post about it some months ago but true lessons aren't learned overnight & the important ones have application for months & years. Can't blame God. I find that I want to because it makes me feel better but really, crap happens. It's easy to say & is never the best during but it's an undeniable part of life. crap happens.
There will be more tragedies this coming year. I hate to say it but kids will die, families, "innocents" in wars & shootings, accidents. That crap happens. We can mourn & never move on from them (& we should mourn, remember & learn/change). Or we can just forget a month, or 6 or 2 years later. That seems like what happens most of the time. We shouldn't live in tombs, always looking in rearview mirror in our minds as we go down the road of life.
Cuz if we do that we're blind to what's next to us, & in front of us. we lose track of the speed we're going & directions. It's healthy & important to look backwards & learn but in all of life, just as in the metaphor, it requires balance. We can't do just one thing or we'll be wrecked.
So look at the highlights, remember all that's happened in the last year but also 5 - 10 years ago & further back even. pay attention. Be thankful. Life is & will continue to be unpredictable but above all, follow God & in the end everything works out for good!

Happy New Year Everybody
& have a blessed 2014.